Friendship
Asha

He sat on the couch holding a medal that belonged to his daughter. How he missed her!! Now, he had made up his mind to join her. He had made all the necessary arrangements and was extremely excited about this trip. He sat and waited. His watch showed that there still was 5 more minutes to go. It seemed too long a time to wait. The excitement was too much to bear. He closed his eyes and began to breathe deeply so that he could relax. He could hear the clock ticking, his heart beating and his slow breathing. 

Thoughts began to fade and serenity swept upon him. He could feel his breath getting shallower by the minute. Slowly he began to slip into a deep slumber. By the end of 5 minutes, everything came to a standstill. The friendship between his body and soul finally came to an end. 
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Cloud
Asha

He sat on the bed wondering what his true identity was!! He could not blindly accept the identity that people gave him. He did not remember a thing about why he was where he was. Perplexed he looked at the sky through the window and saw the moving clouds. One cloud caught his attention. It resembled a sky scraper, he felt. “Yes!!! Milind, you are a civil contractor.. Not a sales executive like they tell you. They are all lying!!!” With this, the past began to flash in his mind and he sprang up from the hospital bed to pursue his life. 

The case sheet at the end of the bed read:
Name: Varun
Diagnosed with: Dissociative Personality Disorder
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Beautiful Stranger
Asha


A little girl was sitting alone at the sea shore. Her eyes were hollow and tears had dried up on her face. Her hair was dishevelled and heart was shrunken with pain. The girl was hopelessly lost in the midst of a million crazy thoughts of her own. 

She was lost and all alone and dying to move on but she had no idea about where to go or what to do. The waves from the sea touched her feet and left; pulling away the sand from beneath her little feet... The more the waves grazed her feet the lower her heart sank... The cold breeze that touched her face forced more tears to flow down her cheeks. She began running haphazardly along the shore, screaming at the nothingness that she felt deep within her heart. She tripped on a few pebbles and sea shells and fell face down... That made her further angry. She picked up those and flung them back into the sea.... Unable to contain her frustration any longer she burst into tears. 

Then all of a sudden she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She panicked for a moment and her body tensed a bit. Then those hands took her tiny hands into themselves. She was lifted up to be hugged and comforted. The girl was slowly and steadily put back on the ground. The stranger nudged her to walk with him holding his hands and she slowly began moving along the sea shore. 

She noticed that the stranger was tall and well-built. His face radiated warmth, comfort, love and care. His eyes radiated serenity and calmness. On the whole he looked like an embodiment of God. His hands then pointed in some direction and urged her to look that way. She saw the beautiful view of the setting sun. The golden red sun seemed to reflect in the stranger’s eyes. Gradually she began to feel the warmth of the hand she held and that of the sun, spreading all through her body. Relaxation set in and her eyes did not feel hollow anymore.. Her heart rose from the abyss that it had been in. 

The stranger then showed her a flock of birds flying home. He smiled at her and she found herself smiling back. Now she could feel her heart smile as well. He walked the small girl towards the other end of the sea shore. He began telling her stories about the birds, animals of the sea and land, humans etc. She thought she had walked for eternity but with each impending step she felt more energized as opposed to feeling tired. 

On reaching the end of the shore, the stranger hugged the small girl and planted a soft and affectionate kiss on her forehead. He ran his hand over head. She felt she now had the strength to carry on forever in the path she was treading. He began to walk away from her but sadness did not dare to come closer to her. She would not be sad for he resided in her heart now. For days to come she would not feel negative thoughts around her. She would just feel bliss surrounding her. 

She wanted to cherish this memory forever so she picked up a sea shell and poured all of the memory into it. She closed it slowly and carved on top of it 

                      ‘MY SPECIAL FRIEND – FOREVER REMEMBERED’. 
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Bird’s eye view of problems
Asha




My first air travel was such a lovely experience and also an absolutely unforgettable one. Magnificent view of everything down below and the feeling you get when you see the horizon which displays a blend of beautiful colours will be cherished forever.

As the flight took off and I slowly saw the walls and houses and roads grow tinier and tinier; everything started looking so meagre and I realized a fact. Things that surrounded your view and blocked you from looking any further and beyond now began to appear like specks. The looked like the scene out of a children’s book.
This applies to our lives as well. When we are totally engrossed in a problem, all we can do is think about the problem. Everywhere we look, we see the problem. But if we assume we are in a flight that is thousands of miles above, then we just need to see the situation as an outsider. We need to rise above the problem and look at it from a bird’s eye view. Slowly things start to appear as they actually are and problems which seemed like giants start to appear as tiny minuscule. Solutions can be easily achieved if you start thinking like an outsider rather than a person involved it.


So, when you are neck deep in trouble, just rise above it and resolve it. Do not run away from it or get engulfed by it.   
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Life = x + iy
Asha


A few months back I read this quote somewhere and it read “Life is complex because it has both real and imaginary parts”. I was admiring the quote and discussing it with a friend and ex-colleague of mine when an idea struck my mind like a flash of lightning. Thanks a lot Manish for that short chit chat... It inspired me to write this post.

The quote seems very true to me. Life really is complex and it does have both real and imaginary parts to it. The best part about this being that the imaginary part is denoted by the ‘i’ which also indicates the 'self'. Most humans hardly know the ‘i’ part. They do not know what they are and what they are capable of. ‘i’ stands for √-1 and this can only be imagined and not appreciated enough by many. By changing the value of ‘y’ in a complex number ‘x + iy’, we alter the boundaries of ‘i’.

Our imagination truly has no bounds. Most things are achievable if we able to imagine doing so. This imagination then becomes a thought which is later manifested into reality.  Our imagination is nothing but our thoughts. Our thoughts define the ‘i’ which ultimately means that out thoughts define us.

If Beethoven had no imagination then he could never have composed tunes after he became deaf. It is solely because he imagined the tunes in his beautiful mind that he was able to compose it.  Even Stephen Hawking for that matter couldn’t be what he is today if it was not for his thought.
Well, if imagination increases manifolds and is beyond control then we lose the ability to control the thoughts. The thoughts will begin to ambush us and we get lost in those thoughts. We lose ground and lose touch with the reality. This is where the real part of life comes into picture. When the real and imaginary parts are put together in the apt quantities, the ‘i’ will accomplish its meaning and the path of our life is shaped.

So, it is very essential that we realise how important our thoughts are and how to give meaning to our life through these thoughts.
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The Way I See You
Asha



You are.......

     like the pearl resting in an oyster
          like the rainbow beaming in the sky
               like the smile spilling from a baby's lips
           like the seedling growing out of land
          like the fresh air atop the mountains
                  like the clear water gushing down a river
            like the love filled in a mother's heart
                like the first rays of sun kissing the land

               This is the way I see you...................


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Daffodils -- by William Wordsworth
Asha


This image reminded me of William Wordsworth's lovely poem 'Daffodil'.. Wonder if this is anything close to what he saw or imagined while writing it... I love that poem and hence I'm mentioning it here so that you too can enjoy it... 




I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed---and gazed---but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils. 
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Inexpressible Love
Asha

                                                   

My love for thee can be expressed
Neither through words nor by actions
Thinking of it makes me feel depressed
'Cos my love is different from those in fictions

I ponder, should I tell you or shouldn't I
Not knowing what to do, I'm in a fix
On telling you, I'm sure I'll have to cry
But silence makes me feel like its a jinx

My feelings are buried deep in my heart
Now my heart  is haunted like a graveyard
My love for you is passion, its a feeling, its an art
I try to suppress it but that is so hard

Love doesn't heed if I ask it to go away
Instead it tells me this something every moment
It wouldn't go before it makes me pay
Not even before you know of this and comment

Have you ever felt the way I feel?
Oh! even if you have, you wouldn't tell me
It's a wound in my heart that wouldn't heal
Unless I tell you how much I love thee!!
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Being Poor
Asha


Too many places I have been
And lots of people I have seen
A few are rich and rest are poor
The rich make merry while the poor always worry

Though I want to help the poor
They think I'm not any better
The rich can, I'm sure, help the poor
But that kind among them are rare I fear

My gift to the poor is through my deed
But that is not what they need
Money is what they want for feed
But do I have any money growing seed?

The rich lead a lavish life
Oblivious to the poor man's strife
They often wish to live to eat
While the starving poor has no retreat

Not all the rich are not the same
For some are rich only by name
With welfare of the poor deep in their heart
And that keeps them from the rest apart

And that's why I really don't mind being poor!!!
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Longing to be with you
Asha

We grew up holding each others' hands
I followed every step that you took
All I wanted was to be like you
Anything that you did always seemed perfect to me
Though we have never tried telling each other
How much we care for and love each other
I think we should have articulated it
So we could shun the newly developed aloofness between our hearts
How much I pine for your presence around me!!!!
How much I miss tickling your tummy!!!!
How much I yearn to hog pizzas with you!!!!
How much I long to play cricket with you!!!
People say whatever happens it happens for the best
What good did all this bickering bring to any of us?
I just want to run to you and hold you tight
Cry to my heart’s content and say to you over and over again....
“I love you my dear brother and I cannot afford to lose you ever….”

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Killed By Your Love
Asha

Was there love between us or did I just imagine it?
During those beautiful days that we spent together
My heart resembles a country thats drought hit
I guess it will remain the same forever and ever

Now everytime I see you looking at me
I feel a thousand knives piercing my heart
Everytime you talk like this was all meant to be
I feel you knew of this right from the start

You took me to a magical place and deserted me in that maze
I was on my own when I had to find my way
Now the entire world mocks at me with disgrace
I donot know why I have nothing in return to say

This pain is overbearing and it brings no bliss
To withstand it I need some strength from above
I know the only remedy to all of this
Thats why all that I now want is to be killed by your love.........
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Lucky shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!
Asha




Today as I read about the student who was caught for malpractice during exams, it really got me thinkin!!!!!! That too a med student!!! Wat r all the bracketed B.E. students doin?????? (Story of bracketed B.E. comin up shortly)
I was ashamed of myself!!! Being a telecomm engg student I never even bothered to design somethin remotely associated with the device used by this brilliant guy... Such an idea never even struck my dormant brain... No wonder I had to struggle through the engg course... Maybe if I had followed this idea then I wud hav passed all my subjects in the first attempt!!!!!!!!! Wow!!! I hav mixed emotions now... Happy and sad!!! Happy just at the thought of sailing smoothly thru B.E and sad cos I didnot get this idea earlier...
All this brings back one particular person to my mind.. A senior of mine who stayed next to my PG window used to wear the same white shirt to all the exams......... I never got a chance to check if he wrote the exams with his collar up or down.... Maybe he was way ahead of his time... ;) I'll confirm this if at all I ever meet him!!!!
Well!!!!!!!!! Kudos to the guy who got caught!!!!!!! Hats off to him!!!!!!!! He should have been studyin to be an engineer rather than to be a doc!!! Maybe its still not too late to follow ur dreams!!!!!! He can just say "Aaall izzz welll!!!" and move on...;) ;)
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My rendezvous with the Camera
Asha


Note: I honor photography and I have very high regards for photographers as well... This is not meant to demean them.. This is just my experience with the camera so far ( or maybe I should say so near... read below and you'll understand!!!!!)
The title might give you an idea that I am a good photographer with a lot of lens experiences in my kitty... But let me tell you the truth.. I'm not even an amateur photographer... I admire photographs and am awestruck at the patience of the photographers.....
As a kid I had always been in front of the camera and hardly behind it which made me feel that photography is "no big deal"..... It didn't take me long to realize that it was a fallacy... The time I got the Best Student Award in a quiz competition they had asked to pose for the photo with a bunch of winners and I was holding my trophy facing me and not the camera... The timely intervention of the Guest of Honor saved my face...
My first tryst behind the lens happened during my 10th standard convocation.. Diana, a friend of mine, handed me a camera and asked me to click a pic of her receiving the memento from our principal. The camera seemed weird to me since I was holding a camera for the first time. I was so nervous that I just held the camera to my eye and waited. But then I felt that people seemed to look odd through the lens.Before I could ask anybody around me for help, it was Diana's turn. I thought "Ok, whatever, first click this and then analyze.." and I clicked..... A bolt of light flashed on my temple.... At first I didn't realize what was happening... I just gave the camera back to Diana...
A few weeks later when I met Diana, she told me that she was not able to figure out what happened to the photo cos it was just not there... On checking out the entire album, I came across a snap of something which even she couldn't identify... But then how could I not recognize my own nose that my bro was sooo fond of.... Damn!!! That moment it struck me that the bolt of light was the camera's flash!!!!! Till date Diana does not know that I had clicked from the wrong side of the camera!!! I feel sorry for not capturing her valued moment!!!!!
There was another occasion where I clicked a snap when a mirror was present and when the photos arrived nothing much was visible because the flash light fell on the mirror and reflected back!!!!! From then on my hands trembled each time I clicked a snap and the photos appeared like I clicked just before I fell or like the people in the frame were travelling in a slow moving train.... :(
By this time it had dawned on me that there was a special connection between me and the lens immaterial of whether I was in front of it or behind it...
Just to add to my Camera miseries, I had another experience a few months back... After a year long vexation by my parents I finally decided to get a few snaps of mine clicked for the so called martyr-maniacal (read as matrimonial) purpose. The photographer must have known about my association with the lens so he didn't even spare me seconds to breathe between snaps, so smiling and posing was a forgotten thing... The output was a rare beauty... The 10 photos appeared to indicate 10 different things
1.I'm hallucinating
2. I'm giggling during my hallucination
3. I'm thinking "Please let me breathe!!!"
4. I'm thinking " Next photo or what???"
5. I'm smiling and thinking " I'll run once I'm done with this!!!"
6. I'm half asleep
7. He made me stand holding a chair so I was laughing at the idea!!!
8. I'm thinking "Shall I run to the right or left?"
9. I'm thinking " Yes Asha!!! Come on... Only one more to go!!!"
10. I'm beaming at the photographer "Yes its done!!! Now I can go home!!!!!"
 But now with my VGA phone, I'm trying my best to break my special bonds with the lens.... So, when my aunt handed me a Deezycam (Shailaji,Swappy,- are you reading this???) and asked me to click photos I made the best use of it!!! I'm eagerly waiting to have a look at those pics!!!!!! :) :)
Is there anybody who can help me overcome my peculiar connection with the camera???? Help!!! Help!!!!
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An apprentice's journey of life
Asha



I wasn't a vagabond in the initial years of my life....I was settled in my cozy home for 17 years during my schooling..

Then when I started getting a little too comfortable there, my parents decided it was time to let me fly so that I could learn to be independent... I was very excited about the whole thing... But little did I know how difficult it was...

I felt like I was Nemo lost in the Pacific, and I did end up in a hostel which was like a collection of specimen including me... But all the specimen were extremely good at heart and from then on started the most beautiful days of my independent life...

I was an apprentice, ready to learn new lessons in life... As I look back now, I realize I got to learn many more lessons in life than I could ever imagine to want to learn... I experienced disappointment, failure, heart break and ridicule during some days... But most of my days were filled with fun, deep friendship, care and laughter...
College was hell with all subjects flying above my head and throwing villainous shrieks at me... I felt like I was Lt. Chris Burnett trapped behind enemy lines or like Jack Sparrow marooned on an island ..... I survived ..... All this with the help of friends who kept adding up in my list..... some touched my life over a long period but some stayed for as few as 14 days and changed my life forever... Everybody had something to teach me and some leave behind wonderful memories...

All these years have been the pages of my life that have been carved in gold... Soooo precious and soo memorable!!! Ohhh my God.. I'm feeling sooo nostalgic now...


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